


One Kiss Away from Killing

by k_lynn



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec gets a little introspective, Angst?, Episode: s02e20 Beside Still Water, M/M, Malec, PWP, Porn with Feelings, Porn with random introspection, Probably not really angst, Shameless Smut, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-01
Updated: 2017-09-01
Packaged: 2018-12-22 15:14:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11970045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/k_lynn/pseuds/k_lynn
Summary: He sees the second his control snaps because Magnus’ eyes are suddenly gold and slitted and feral, and Alec can’t keep back the grin that flickers at the corners of his mouth.“Do you enjoy seeing what you do to me?”“Always."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So. One day I will find a new fandom and the first thing I contribute won't be porn. Today is not that day. 
> 
> This is supposed to take place after Magnus and Alec walk away at the end of episode 20. Because I couldn't not write make up sex after _that_. I'm weak. 
> 
> Little disclaimer: I have not yet read the books, so any and all descriptions, events mentioned, and characterization are based solely on the show.

______________

_Tales of an endless heart_

_Cursed is the fool who's willing_

_Can't change the way we are_

_One kiss away from killing_

_\- River, Bishop Briggs_

______________

“What do you say we get out of here?”

There may come a point when one sentence from Magnus isn’t enough to make Alec’s knees go weak, but tonight isn’t it. It’s relief this time that courses through him. He has to fight not to sway with it. He’d thought he’d lost him this time. They keep coming back to each other, but this time had felt different. He allowed himself for a brief moment in time to imagine that what they felt wasn’t enough. He hated himself for that moment of weakness. Magnus had once said that Alec would tear up the ground he was standing on to make things right, but Alec knew he’d do more than that. He’d tear up the world for Magnus Bane if he asked it. 

_I don’t think I can live without you._

Alec had trouble with words around Magnus, but there in that moment, he’d never meant anything so much. The painful truth of it was he didn’t _want_ to live without him. He’d thought he’d lost him in that moment when Magnus walked away at the Institute and it had felt like a part of Alec’s very being had torn away with him. Alec was sure he’d made that one fatal mistake when it came to Magnus. He didn’t blame him for walking away, he tried to make peace with it, but his entire being revolted against the idea of his life without Magnus in it. 

He apologized and it wasn’t enough. He could see it in the way Magnus’ arms came around himself, like he was trying to protect himself from the pain Alec had caused him. So Alec told him the truth, like he’d been asking all along. 

Alec had made a lot of bad decisions recently. Magnus Bane isn’t one of them. 

He holds himself close to Magnus as they walk, the night air damp and chilled between them, and Magnus slides his hand around Alec’s arm, his touch warm and solid and _reassuring,_ like he can feel all the nervous energy that rides Alec. His fingers press into Alec’s arm, hard, to the point it might have been painful if Alec wasn’t willing to take Magnus’ touch any way he can get it. Maybe Magnus can feel it too.

They last until the warm light of Magnus’ room wraps around them. Magnus reaches for him, and Alec presses his face into his neck. Magnus is shorter than him, but Alec has never minded bending into his arms. He exhales shakily and they hang together in this moment for seconds or hours or days.  
It breaks when Alec literally can’t exist another second without Magnus’ mouth on his, his hands on his body. Their lips crash. It’s inelegant and messy with need. Magnus makes a half broken sound that Alec swallows with his next breath. Alec’s arms tighten around him, hard enough to force Magnus to rock up onto the balls of his feet. It is everything and it’s not enough. 

They kiss like they’re trying to become one, like they can climb inside each other and exist solely in this space they’ve created. It isn’t the soft affection they’d shared in the alley behind Hunter’s Moon, it isn’t sweet or gentle. It’s pure, raw need. 

Like a dam broken in a storm, they start tearing at each other’s clothes. Alec’s jacket is gone before he can really understand how he’d lost it, and his shirt follows, ripped over his head hard enough he’d sure he heard fabric tear. He couldn’t care less about it. Magnus’ clothes require more attention. He has too many buttons and his necklaces catch. Alec can’t make his shaking hands cooperate the way they should.

Alec snarls softly, “You need to start wearing less.”

Magnus laughs, a short release of tension, “Problems, darling?” He snaps his fingers and between one blink and the next the rest of their clothes are gone.

“Magnus,” Alec sighs, growls, because he’d just weakened himself enough already, he shouldn’t be using magic like that.

“I’m fine, Alexander,” Magnus replies, leaning into him, pulling him down into the solid warmth of him, “I just rather like that shirt and while I could fix it, I’d rather it not be ripped to shreds.”

Alec tries to frown, but he’s too concerned with getting Magnus’ mouth back on his to harp too much on it. Just like the first time they did this, he’s not quite prepared when Magnus spins him down onto his back on soft bedding, but instinct and years of combat training make it easy to maneuver. Magnus catches himself on his hands above him, beautiful and breathless, and the heat that banked for a moment between them rushes back to life. Alec drags Magnus down, takes his mouth, and there is nothing but the heated slide of tongues, the drag of teeth catching on lips. Magnus’ necklaces rest on his heated chest, his rings a cool contrast to his warm hands. Alec yearns toward him and Magnus finally bears his weight down against him. 

He sees the second his control snaps because Magnus’ eyes are suddenly gold and slitted and feral, and Alec can’t keep back the grin that flickers at the corners of his mouth. Magnus notices, and he kisses Alec until he is _keening_ with it, his teeth sinking into Alec’s lower lip hard enough to make his hips buck.

“Do you enjoy seeing what you do to me?” he asks, his lips moving from Alec’s mouth to his chin to his neck to bite softly at the tendon there.

“Always,” Alec breathes, his whole body arching. 

They rock together, and Magnus’ cock slides slick against Alec’s belly, making him shudder and press his thighs to his hips. Magnus bites his neck again, sucks a mark there, and Alec grips his back, his waist, anywhere he can touch him, blunt nails sinking into flesh. It’s not enough and it’s everything. “Magnus,” Alec growls into the space between one kiss and the next. 

“Is there something you need, love,” Magnus murmurs, hot against his skin.

“I need you,” Alec gasps. He grabs Magnus’ hips and drags their cocks together. His voice is desperate and pleading. He doesn’t sound like himself and he doesn’t care. “I need you to get inside me and _never leave_.”

Magnus kisses him like he’s drowning and Alec is his air. Alec is lightheaded by the time he leans back, and he can’t stop the low desperate sound that leaves him when there is too much space between them. Magnus is back before he can reach for him again. Alec spreads his legs and lube-slick fingers invade him. It’s a tease he doesn’t need and he grits his teeth, hips pushing up, trying to get more, get him deeper. Magnus looks up at him, and his slitted eyes are so blown they almost look human. But he isn’t fully human, and neither is Alec, and Alec is ready, so ready for this he’s worried he might actually die if Magnus is not inside him in the next five seconds.

“Magnus, please,” he whimpers. When Magnus balks, worried, always so worried about hurting him – Like this would ever be the thing Magnus could do that would break him – that whimper becomes a snarl. “ _Now_.”

There will be time later for softness and teasing, there will be time for relearning each other and losing themselves in each other’s bodies. Right now Alec needs Magnus so close there isn’t room for the humid air between them. Magnus’ fingers leave him and he feels empty in a way he didn’t know he could until the first moment Magnus filled him.

Hands part his thighs and hold him open and his hands find their way into Magnus’ hair. The first push burns through him, stealing his breath and making his eyes close with the sweeping pleasure of it. Magnus’ hand molds to his jaw and Alec opens his eyes. He forces his hips up, taking everything Magnus can give him and then some, so deep he swears he can taste it. It aches through him, turning him inside out with the sensation, the pleasure. 

All the breath leaves Magnus in a rush and he _surges_ forward, making Alec choke on air and cling to him. The drag of his cock inside him ignites fire along his spine. It’s perfect and achingly real, and it’s not enough. Alec is sure it will never be enough for him. He’s greedy when it comes to Magnus. They move together, fitting like they were made for this, and maybe they were. Alec could like to think so. He grips Magnus’ shoulders, pressing bruises into skin, the same way bruises are pressed into his thighs. The next thrust has Alec crying out a sound that is almost Magnus’ name, if he could get enough air into his lungs to form the syllables. 

Alec’s hands slide down Magnus’ arms, his hips, dragging him forward as he rocks to meet him. It’s hard, maybe too hard, he will feel this later, and he wants to. There’s no room for anything between them, just damp air and the breathless sounds that leave Alec, the soft groans Magnus releases from between gritted teeth. Sweat collects in the hollow of Alec’s throat, slides down his skin in shivering trails. He can feel everything so clearly, Magnus’ breath against his chin, his throat, his lips, the slick glide of his cock against the hard plane of Magnus’ stomach. He arches, his body tightening with alarming intensity. 

Magnus slows, swallowing the desperate sound Alec chokes out with his kiss. “Soon, darling,” he murmurs. 

Alec would curse him, but his hips snap back against him and it steals the words from his mouth along with his breath, making light flash behind his eyes. The slide out is slow, leisurely, sending shivers along Alec’s limbs. All he can do wrap around Magnus and take what he gives him. He wants it.

Magnus takes his mouth again, making him dizzy from lack of air. Alec wraps an arm around the back of his neck and doesn’t let him move away. His mouth is tense with the strain of holding back, but there is affection in the curve of his lips. His pace is still slow, but just as hard, just as satisfyingly deep. 

They both want it to last, though that want is slowly being eclipsed by their need. Alec can feel the tension in his belly coiling with every thrust, and he cannot hold it back any longer. Magnus’ lips brush his ear, breath hot and panting against his skin. 

“I love you, Alexander Lightwood.”

Alec’s body draws tight, his back arching, and he’s coming, coming untouched with Magnus’ love breathed against his skin, with a sobbing cry that is mixed with Magnus’ name. He feels when Magnus follows, rocking against him, sending half painful pulses of pleasure along his nerves. He collapses against him, and Alec holds him, stroking his fingers along his sweat-damp skin. They stay like that for a long time, until the dampness between them gets uncomfortable. Magnus rolls to the side, and Alec lets his arms flop down above his head. His knuckles knock against the headboard and he glances up, unaware how close he’d gotten to it. He huffs a laugh and Magnus gives him an arch look. 

“Something funny, darling?” he drawls, trailing his fingers long Alec’s chest. 

Alec points up, “One of these times you’re going to knock me out.”

Magnus gives him a blank look, and then his gaze shifts up. His eyes are back to human appearing brown now. He laughs, taking Alec’s hand, dragging his lips along his knuckles, “I’d think you were made of stronger stuff than that, Shadowhunter.”

“I hope so,” Alec rolls onto his side. His body aches, but it’s a good ache, a deeply satisfying ache he never wants to go away. “Or I’ll have to figure out how much of the mess at the Institute I can handle remotely.” He sends Magnus a little smirk, “You’re stronger than you look, Warlock.”

“High Warlock,” Magnus corrects with an amused little breath. His face sobers. “You’re staying?”

Alec pretends to consider it, and he slides into Magnus’ space, capturing his mouth. “Of course. We’re not done.”

Magnus breathes a soft moan that tastes like light on Alec’s tongue. “You amaze me, Alexander.”

Alec hums, nuzzling their mouths together. “I love you too, Magnus Bane.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was supposed to be the end of the first part, because I'm morning-after trash, but I really liked the way that part ended. That being said, I have slapped this add on in here as its own chapter? I guess. Just for funsies.

“Magnus. _Magnus_.” Alec looks down the length of his body, fighting to keep his lips from curving in amusement. “I have to go.” Magnus hums noncommittally and does something with his hand that makes Alec yelp. “Magnus, seriously. Izzy has called like five times. I have to go.”

Magnus slides back up the length of his body and rests his arm on his chest. 

Alec shakes his head with a little laugh, “You do get that if I keep ignoring them, they’ll just come here?”

“You have a point,” Magnus says with a drawn out sigh. He looks around the room contemplatively. “I wonder how much of an inconvenience it would be to move again…”

Alec huffs an amused breath. He cups Magnus’ cheek, bringing his gaze back to him. “I’ll come back. If not tonight then as soon as I can, you know that.”

“I do,” Magnus replies and he kisses him softly. “I’ll let you up then, shall I?”

“Unfortunately,” Alec sighs. 

Magnus slides off the bed and dons a robe as he moves to leave.

Alec sighs again, “Magnus.”

Magnus looks back with a smirk curving his lips, “Hmm?”

“I need my clothes.”

“Of course.” A wave of his hand and they are folded neatly on the end of the bed, his boots on the floor beneath them. 

“Thank you,” Alec says, leveling him with a flat look. 

By the time Alec is showered and dressed, Magnus is slightly more clothed and presentable than he had been, which is regrettable, holding out a cup of coffee for Alec to take. It’s the perfect temperature for him to down without really tasting it. Magnus is still shirtless under his robe and Alec’s mouth dries a little, looking at him. Reminding himself once again, he really does need to go, he pecks a soft kiss to Magnus’ mouth. 

“I’ll see you later. Call me if you need anything.”

“Yes, darling,” Magnus replies with long suffering amusement. “Let me make you a portal to the Institute, at least.”

“Magnus. It’s fine, I can—”

“One tiny portal isn’t going to bother me, Alexander,” Magnus says, “I’ll survive, I promise.” He sidles up to him and runs his hands down his arms. “Besides, the sooner you find out what dear Isabelle needs, the sooner you can come back.”

Alec surrenders with a sigh and a small nod. “Okay, fine.” He stands back, watching while Magnus pulls the portal into existence. He’s about to step through when he pauses. He looks between the swirling space and Magnus, who is watching him in arch confusion. 

Alec makes a decision. They can’t do this. They cannot continue in this separate-but-together place they’ve been in. Not him and Magnus, not the Shadowhunters and the Downworld. It’s almost destroyed them once. Alec had sworn to protect the Downworld, but it is past time for them to have a hand in protecting themselves. They didn’t just need transparency. They need cohesion. And it starts here. With them.

He holds out a hand, “Are you coming?”

Magnus blinks at him, and their eyes lock. He sees the moment Magnus understands. Alec never wants him to have to choose between him and his people again. It’s not fair to him, and if Alec loves him, he has to be the one to take those steps. Words aren’t enough. 

It occurs to him that he probably should have discussed this with him before this moment, because Magnus is not his perfect, put together self just yet. He’s flawless to Alec’s eyes, but Magnus takes being presentable to a whole new level. Apparently he shouldn’t have worried. A wave of Magnus’ hand and the look he presents to the world comes over him like glittering, coifed armor. 

Magnus slides a ringed hand into Alec’s, “Lead on, Alexander.” And they walk through the portal to the Institute together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These beautiful bastards will be the end of me, I swear. I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS. 
> 
> ♥ ♥ ♥ Hope you enjoyed! ♥ ♥ ♥


End file.
